Sunday, May 30, 2010

sometimes i feel like i have friends, like there are people that enjoy my company.
this illusion is usually shattered pretty quickly.
really, i enjoy sitting home all day by myself. i enjoy not having anyone to talk to besides my dog, and occasionally my boyfriend. it's really nice.
i love hearing about all the awesome things my friends have been doing. really.

not that i discriminate people or make friends based upon their beliefs, but where are all the sober vegan kids? oh yeah, in hawaii there are about 4 of them. i want to be able to go out with people and have lots of fun, but i feel like in most situations where going out is available to me, it involves being around lots of drunk people.
i don't mind that some people drink, i'm not trying to stop them. but i just do not want to be around it. there is not even anywhere to go to have fun that doesn't involve drinking.
and i pretty much suck, because i don't like dancing, or 80's music.
what's wrong with me? i don't know.
i'm just a loser i guess.

and i hate that the only day that "fun" is allowed to happen in my group of "friends" is on sundays. i am sick of it.

it would be nice to make some friends at school, but i am an awkward shithead, that is so stupid shy in front of large groups of people, everyone usually thinks i am a stuck up bitch. which i don't really think i am, but then again, do stuck up bitches know they are stuck up bitches? who knows..

basically this post was just to assert how happy i am with my life at this point. i love going to school all summer, i love working all the time, i love not having a life, i love not having friends.

it's not like anyone even reads this anyways..
and if they did, what difference would it make?

1 comment:

  1. kristina this makes me so sad. i'm sorry you felt or are feeling this way! i wish i could be there to hang out with you, cause you know i don't have to drink to have fun!
    i think you are wonderful and your awkwardness is so so so cute!
    miss you lots kristina face, love you so much!